Struggling painfully between dreams and reality

I have caught a cold again these past two days, and my throat hurts as if it has been stuffed with firewood, rendering me unable to speak. Meanwhile, work is exceptionally busy, and the people at the headquarters never consider those below them... they only know how to create trouble... I have become numb to it.

Thus, endure

Finally, I still ask everyone for more support... Once this book is completed, I really should get a good night's sleep...

Thus, I shifted my focus to writing traditional novels, choosing my favorite genre of detective fiction

Since childhood, I have had a deep fondness for words, particularly for ancient poetry and similar works. When I was in middle school, my school was located in the town, and I had to run several kilometers to attend classes. During the journey, with nothing else to do, I would recite from a worn poetry booklet that I had found among the old books at home. This booklet was published before the liberation, carrying the musty scent of age and the unique fragrance of paper and ink. The only benefit these childhood habits brought me was achieving an excellent score of 130 in the Chinese language section of the college entrance examination and in literature. Beyond that, it seems there was little else.

In fact, at the time I uploaded this novel, I had already written approximately 50,000 words. However, I revised those 50,000 words four times: once for the titles, once for the storyline, once for the order of the sections, and finally for the character names. This was because someone informed me that the titles of traditional novels should not be overly exaggerated.

Until now, I still do not know whether my choice to write this book at the beginning was right or wrong. At the beginning, this is an absolutely non-mainstream book, and no one likes this kind of non-fantasy article

I remember studying a line of poetry in Chinese class during middle school: "Two lines take three years to compose, a single recitation brings forth tears in pairs." This is a note by the poet Jia Dao within his poem. At that time, I only vaguely felt the poet's immense difficulty, unaware that all written words in the world are similarly arduous.

Writing a novel is something that sounds easy but is difficult to accomplish. My original intention was to write a fantasy novel, but after writing over 100,000 words, I realized that I am not cut out for that. My personality is too meticulous, and I am unable to create anything imaginative and free-spirited.

After working, having experienced the clamor of the world and the coldness of human affairs, I find myself longing even more for the simplicity and joy of the time when I only had words. Work is exhausting, and after hours, I feel incredibly bored, alone in a room with no one to talk to, walking on the streets of a strange city, without even a single friend. In this state of confusion, the idea of writing my own words began to take shape.

During my university years, I distanced myself from writing, partly due to my emotional experiences at the time, and partly because most of my leisure time was spent engaged in computer games.

Many new authors from various book channels have joined my group. They often ask me how to sign a contract with a publisher. Sometimes, I am unsure how to respond to them.

While others aspire to make their books longer, I find myself wishing to conclude mine as swiftly as possible. It is simply too exhausting, to the point where I struggle to get out of bed each day. If it were not for the word count restrictions imposed by my contract with Qidian, I believe I would have already begun writing the final volume.

My thoughts have always been simple, but I did not expect it to be so difficult to put them into practice

At present, I only wish to complete the writing and then await a response from the publisher. Whether it is the publishing fee or a portion of the completion reward, I simply want to receive my rightful share after finishing the book

Thus, I have gradually and arduously arrived at the present moment

I am tired from work, and my heart is weary as well; I find it difficult to keep up with writing. However, readers do not see this; they only notice whether the author has updated. Therefore, each time I can only take a deep breath, calm my mind, or muster my spirits to continue updating. Sometimes, when I truly cannot update the book, I can only take a leave of absence. But as soon as I take a leave, I immediately lose followers.

I just want to be worthy of the two hundred readers who support me

In fact, I do not care about collections and subscriptions, because my subscription for each chapter is around 200, which is equivalent to 2 yuan for every 1,000 characters. This barely covers my electricity bill, let alone the money for medicine when I fall ill

I love words, yet I have never known the hardships of writing them

The economic crisis has not only led to low wages but has also placed a multitude of responsibilities on my shoulders. I am so busy at work that I feel dizzy. Moreover, I am constantly subjected to criticism. What is most unjust? As a newcomer, if you make a mistake, it is your fault; if others make a mistake, as long as it is related to you, it is also your fault. Sometimes, I feel so frustrated that I want to slam the table and walk out, but what can I do? As a child from a rural area, I have studied for so many years just to secure a good job. Sometimes, I feel so frustrated that I want to slam the table and walk out, but what can I do? As a child from a rural area, I have studied for so many years just to secure a good job

Fortunately, the building will have a power outage tomorrow. The CEO has shown kindness by allowing each department to leave one person to oversee the company, while the rest can go home. I can sleep in and also catch up on some chapters

A reader told me that my book is very realistic, and that is because I need to constantly consider whether everything in the book aligns with reality. If I were to write about a super-powered police officer, why would I go through so much trouble?

Ah... who can truly understand all the pain?

I simply want to fulfill my own commitments; a promise made is a promise kept

As of today, I truly want to say that I am very tired

I also wish to finish writing quickly, but due to my personality, I inevitably filter the plot in my mind while writing. First, I must eliminate any logical errors. Perhaps at times others may not pay attention to these details, but I tend to point out even the smallest flaws, being critical of myself.

I have only two wishes for writing a novel: first, to earn some pocket money; second, to help some people understand certain matters